zondag 4 november 2012

My life changed (part 2)


-- read part 1 here --



On a Saturday in December, I visited Mariella for the first time, along with Jane of course. Mariella was Jane's best friend, and Jane liked to show me off to her. During breaks at school, Jane would sometimes call me over to where she and Mariella stood, and tie my hood completely shut. She would then say: "You'll stay like this until the end of lunch break. If you even touch the drawstrings, I'll tell mum you took your hood off." And to Mariella: "You see, I can make her do whatever I want. If she doesn't obey, I'll tell mum to punish her. Isn't my new 'sister' lovely?" And then they'd walk away, leaving me blind until finally the bell rang and I could open my hood. I knew Mariella was fascinated by this, but I had no idea what she was up to that Saturday.

I was wearing my winter clothes by then: white ski pants, red Moonboots, a thick knee-length red down jacket (hood up and tied, of course - I was never allowed outside anymore without my sweatshirt hood and jacket hood both up and tied), white heavy mittens, and a long white scarf. The scarf had been Jane's idea; she had suggested to Cyrilla that I had to tie it tightly over my lower face at all times. This way I couldn't speak, which further isolated me at school. Before all this, I'd had a lot of friends. At first they had wondered why I started wearing a hood all the time, but not much had changed. But Jane did her best to make me stand out more and more, and since I had to wear the scarf I was soon ignored by most of my classmates. After all, who wants to hang out with someone who doesn't speak, and who starts to dress really weird? I really stood out wearing Moonboots in dry weather well above the freezing point, and my down jacket was so big, bright and shiny. And then there was the hood of course, always worn up, always bound tight, turning my head into a big red watermelon on top of my fluffy body.

And what could I do about it? I dared not argue with Cyrilla again, or refuse her. Nor did I talk to anyone about it. One day, Cyrilla had showed me pictures of what she called a 'Glosssuit'. She said if I told anyone that my way of dressing wasn't my own choice, she'd buy two Glosssuits for me. One to wear outside, and another one which I'd wear at home. Except the second one would have no hood opening at all, and I'd have to wear it night and day while home. I was horrified. So I saw no other way than to obey Cyrilla and Jane without comment, whatever they told me to do. As time went on, people got more used to me just being weird and left me alone. I was too ashamed to search much contact myself, and I had to wear my scarf during break times, so I soon became a social outcast at school. This of course made it even more impossible to talk to someone about my situation, if I had found the courage to do so.

So that Saturday, right after lunch, we visited Mariella, whose parents weren't home that day. I knew we were going to sleep at Mariella's, and go home on Sunday morning, but I had no idea what they intended to do. But whatever they had planned, Jane seemed very excited about it, and apparently so was Mariella. As she opened the door, she had a big grin on her face. "Hi Jane," she said brightly, "come in quickly! I can't wait to get started!" Jane walked in and started taking off her jacket, but she told me to keep everything on.

"Jane, I've bought something for Nina. You'll love it. One moment, I'll go grab it!" Mariella dashed upstairs to her room, and came back seconds later, showing Jane something made of black rubber with a long tube. "It's a pumpable gag," Mariella beamed. "Let's try it out right away." She took off my scarf and the hood of my jacket. "Open your mouth, Nina," she commanded. I was afraid of the gag but dared not disobey her. I opened my mouth and she put the gag in. "Okay. Now close it again." While I stood there nervously with the rubber thing in my mouth and the long tube sticking out of it, Mariella tore long strips off a roller of heavy black adhesive tape she'd also brought. With a knife, she carefully cut a hole in the middle of each strip. Then she placed each strip over my mouth, pulling the tube through the hole in the strips, then wrapping the strips of tape snugly around my cheeks and sweatshirt hood, covering my head all the way around. When she was satisfied I wouldn't be able to open my mouth anymore, she attached a little hand pump to the end of the tube and started pumping. Soon my cheeks were hurting, and I flailed wildly with my arms to make her stop, but she only did when my mouth was filled completely and my cheeks were bulging out under the tape. Then she removed the tube and put my hood up again, tying it tight with only my eyes and a bit of my nose showing, so nobody could see the tape. Finally she wrapped my scarf around me again.

Mariella and Jane looked at me in fascination, as I stood there mutely, breathing deeply through my nose. I desperately tried to find a way to make the gag in my mouth more comfortable, but it filled my mouth completely, and the tape further immobilised my face, so I was helpless to do anything about it. Then Mariella tied some short ropes around each of my wrists, outside my mittens, so I couldn't remove them anymore. She also tied the drawstring at the hem of my coat tighter, so I had to take smaller steps.

When all was ready, Mariella and Jane took me out into town. They dragged me into one shop after another, where I had to stand around uselessly, while people commented on my outfit. "Eskimo," some guy taunted right behind me, and "God, it's freezing in here, isn't it?" I heard a woman say. But most people just looked at me, although now and then someone burst out in laughter at the surprise of seeing me like that. I felt humiliated, and Jane and Mariella did nothing to improve my situation. Sometimes they ordered me to walk back and forth through a shop, sometimes they simply ignored me, sometimes they said things like "Nina, why don't you take your hood off? It's really not cold inside!" in a loud voice so people would hear.

Later that afternoon, they took me to the movies. It was even warmer there, and the gag made my mouth dry, but I could only look while Mariella and Jane bought large cups of ice-cold coke for themselves and left me to sweat it out. As soon as the lights went out, Jane closed my hood completely so I wouldn't even have the movie to divert my mind. Blind, and with the sound muffled by my hoods, it was impossible to follow the story, so I just sat there for two long hours, with sweat dripping inside my clothes and my jaws aching.

At last, we went back to Mariella's, and Mariella took off my mittens. I thought they would let me out now, but I was wrong. They told me I could go to the toilet, but I had to keep my jacket on and the hood up, and I couldn't take longer than necessary. When I was done they put me back into my mittens and tied them in place again. Then they took me upstairs, where Mariella spread a large down-filled sleeping bag on a bed. "You'll get to rest a few hours now, Nina," she said, while she put me into the bag and zipped it up, "you must be tired after this afternoon, and you'll need your strength for the big finale tonight. Meanwhile, we'll have pizza. We'll see you in a couple of hours!" With that, she closed my jacket hood and the hood of the sleeping bag, leaving me in darkness, wondering what else they could have planned for me.

---

I woke up when my hoods were opened again. Had I really slept? It seemed impossible, especially with the gag hurting my cheeks, but apparently I had. I blinked groggily at the light. Mariella helped me out of the sleeping bag and herded me downstairs. There she removed my jacket hood and, mercifully, the gag. Then she took off my mittens as well and gave me a large bowl of soup. "Your dinner," she said. "Hurry up, we want to leave soon. Jane is just finishing her make-up." Now I noticed Mariella had also put on some make-up and was wearing a pretty dress. I didn't say anything though and started spooning up the soup. It was hot, but I was hungry and thirsty so I quickly ate it all. By then, Jane had entered, with a layer of make-up on her face (I told you about the acne). When I finished my meal, they told me to put on my hood and mittens again, and I quickly did so, glad that I didn't have to wear the gag anymore. They also didn't bother with my scarf.

Mariella told me to go outside and call them when the taxi arrived. Once it did, they took their time coming out of the house, but eventually we all got in the back of the cab. Jane and Mariella both wore skimpy dresses with a short, fur-lined jacket on top. I sat between them, still in Moonboots, ski pants, mittens and the huge jacket with the hood up. We went to a club, and at the entrance they both took off their short jackets but I had to keep mine on. Once inside, they allowed me to take off my hood and mittens and unzip my jacket, but I had to keep my sweatshirt hood up. Wearing a hood, the large jacket, the ski pants and the Moonboots, I still stood out from the crowd. They told me I had to dance for them. It was ridiculous, especially because of the Moonboots, which made dancing pretty much impossible, but I had to do it all the same. Meanwhile they were flirting with some guys, but they didn't forget to urge me on if they thought I was slacking. Every now and then they allowed me a break and gave me some money to get myself a drink. Obviously the guys at the bar had seen my ridiculous dance in Moonboots, and I was still wearing my jacket and my sweatshirt hood, but I was so thirsty I didn't care much. The breaks were short though, and I was soon exhausted.

At some point, Jane called me over to where she was sitting in a guy's lap. "This is Nina. And she has to do whatever I say," she giggled. I could tell she was getting a bit drunk. "Bend over, Nina, and let us see how sweaty you are." I did, and Jane felt at my hood, which was soaked with sweat. "I told her to dance, so she has to do that. And she has to dress like that," Jane smiled. The guy seemed impressed. "Wow. You made her dress like that? She must be so warm in that!" Jane grinned at him. "This is nothing. Watch this." She turned to me and said: "Nina, you've had enough rest now. Tie your sweatshirt hood tighter, then zip up your jacket, put your hood up and tie it tight. Put your mittens back on and start dancing again immediately." In front of the amazed boy, I executed her orders, tying my hoods so tight only my eyes were showing.

Half an hour later, I was simply to tired to dance anymore. I had lost track of Jane and Mariella too. I stumbled across the dancefloor and found a place to sit. Jane and Mariella were nowhere to be seen, so I would rest for just a minute, then I'd start dancing again. Suddenly a guy was sitting next to me. "Hi, I've been looking at you the whole evening. You look stunning in that jacket. Can I get you a drink?" Although I was very thirsty, I refused. I dared not open my hood enough to drink without Jane's permission. I was also weary of the guy's intentions - who could think I looked stunning like this? I thought he was mocking me. But he remained friendly and talked some more and eventually I realized he was actually honest. How he could like me in these clothes I didn't know, but it seemed true.

And then Jane and Mariella appeared. "What do you think you're doing?" Jane shouted. "We're going home right now. Mum will hear of this!"

Five minutes later we were in a cab going back to Mariella's. It turned out that both their guys had dumped them, and they were very angry with me for apparently having found a guy. And of course, I had stopped dancing without Jane's permission. Back home, they put me in my sleeping bag again, and tied my hoods shut. "Just wait till tomorrow," Jane said once more, "I'll tell mum how naughty you've been. I can't wait to see what she'll do to you!"



Overview